RAW – Entry #13 – Radio Silence Experiment

July, 9th 2017 – WARMING, RAGE MODE

I know I have some catching up to do so lets start with now!!

At my age a lot of things come into question…. so of course I ask myself daily….

Is this really what I want for myself?
am I happy with my social circle
is this the right man for me
what do I want….etc.etc.etc

I had a great conversation with a friend of mine last night and he said that he’s going to dip off the radar because hes putting too much effort into his friends and not getting the same in return and that they just aren’t encouraging enough….

This got me thinking about my surroundings and today was the real eye opener…

There has been this dude who of course you think,  things are going to go somewhere and then suddenly things change….

the calls stop, the effort fades, the feeling of it going somewhere leads you no where…. but you still call – no return call
you still put forth a decent effort – get none in return
and the path you were once on, splits into two and now there is a choice to be made…..

to continue down the same route or GET THE FUCK OFF THE PATH…..

I decided to get off the path and just toss in the towel….

Frustrated that this has been happening for about a week my ZERO TOLERANCE meter has maxed out.

Any person who wants to be in another persons life makes the fucking effort – NO EXCUSES.

So I gave him the: CHECK YA LATER message and of course now I’m wanting to discuss my feelings and rationalize the situation and so I start down the list of people to call and not one friggen person is around, nor has anyone returned my call…..

I don’t have time for this shit, nor do i want to feel dissapointed about the people in my life that think they’re so close to me but make zero fucking effort to call me and say, hey how are you how are things……

I really need to re-evaluate my social circle and give it a good hard filter and seriously make a fucking statement about this already. I’ve said nothing to anyone about how im feeling and I think its fucking time.

They might get the hint since I am going to try the Radio Silence Experiement and stop responding to text messages and social media and only answer their calls – if and when they call.

I’m sad………… to feel like there is no one to call when you’re down and out, but always being there for your friends………. like fuck you guys……..


MAD LOVE – thanks for listening.









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